Crazy Man at Davis

me: on my way to school, i was waiting at Davis for a bus and this weirdo guy came up to me and asked for a cig
you can probably imagine what the guy looked like
big glasses
unkempt and nerd-looking
fat
unshaven
[white, middle aged]
and asked me if i was "Indian"
i said yes
then he asked where my headdress was
i said "no, like India" and pointed out which state
he said "so, you're an Apache"
and kept inquiring about my headdress
i said i didn't bring it with me, its cumbersome

but this guy was obviously an obnoxious nerd in his previous probably less-mentally challenged life
i asked if he was European

he said yes and eventually "french canadian"
i asked him "where's your french?"

Ria: where is your poutine?

me: and he said "i'm just a typical american"

i know! i was searching real hard for something french-canadian, but i couldn't think of one

in any case i said "well, i thought i was one too"

Ria: yeah, they don't have many good cultural props

me: and he said "but you said you were indian"

me: and i said "you said you were french-canadian"
which he apparently couldn't beat

so he asked about my religion and i said "christian".
[that's my answer as if i was jewish but not really religious]
[also to deflect the constant wishes from people of other races for me to embrace Jesus or politely praise Allah or some Hindu god at me]

and he asked what i thought about the afterlife
i said "i hope there is one"
and then my bus came


Ria: that would make for a lovely movie vignette

me: yah, i was hopin to see where the hell that conversation was going
see if he was trying to be a dick or whether he was just mentally challenged

Ria: probably a bit of both

-fin-