Friday, March 17, 2006

Pub Quiz Update #3

Team name: Vietnam Vet Playing Air Guitar (ref)
Placement: 1st
Points: 89

Acid casualty with a reposessed car
Vietnam vet playin' air guitar
It's just the shit-kickin', speed-takin'
Truck-drivin' neighbours downstairs

Whiskey stained buck-toothed backwoods creep
Grizzly bear motherfucker never goes to sleep
It's just the shit-kickin', speed-takin'
Truck-drivin' neighbours downstairs

Belly floppin' naked in a pool of yellow sweat
Screamin' jackass with a wet cigarette
It's just the shit-kickin', speed-takin'
Truck-drivin' neighbours downstairs

Psychotic breakdown double-edged axe
Growin' hair like a shag rug on a greasy back
It's just the shit-kickin', speed-takin'
Truck-drivin' neighbours downstairs
Oh, yeah
Come on, honey, feel the grease
Grease, grease
Come on, honey, feel the grease
Oh, my goodness
Come on, honey, feel the grease
Oh yeah
Come on, lay it on me
Bring it down one more time
Come on, honey

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Pub Quiz Update #2

Welcome friends to Pub Quiz Update.

Last night was a bit of a farce, it was Northeastern's spring break.

This meant that the bar was mostly empty and there were only 5 teams. 3 of which were mine and my friends.

Our team suffered from some casualties and causalities.

Cassie was taken ill. Jon was taken by Chrissy (and for the librarians, vice versa).

In their stead came two powerful substitutes in the form of JessO and Laura (Cassie's friend from TX and OK).

Right before the game, I'd just been listening to Goldfrapp's excellent new album "Supernature" and was quite taken with its 2nd single "Ride a White Horse". i wanted us to be something with the slight coccaine reference of "i want to ride on a white horse". Then with a quick remembrance of Scarface and Grand Theft Auto 3, we came up with a bastardization of the hit song featured in both "Rush Rush (to me, yayo)". Silly, referencing the 80s and coccaine. For no reason whatsoever. almost perfect and useless. Thus, our name.

We had some struggles. Remembered that Lincoln was born in Kentucky. Found out that the founder of Texas was Austin, not Houston. I came across the realization that the flamethrower was first used in WWI by the Germans. Why? I reasoned that tanks were being used at that point, and the best defense against early tanks? flamethrower. score. and other stupid crap.

It was a crazy evening.

Jess spilled her drink and broke her glass on poor Laura.

Laura forgot her wallet after leaving and Jess lost her cellphone.

Scott felt he'd smoked too many cigarettes (!)

You'd think we'd been on some sort of coke and booze-laced bender.

but no, just nerd olympics.


um so.

the standings,

in first place: Rush Rush with the Yayo (us) (110pts)
in second place: The Night Kitchen (librarians) (96 pts)
in third place: The Minus 3 (engineers) (93 pts)

as always, the contra team pulls out ahead.

and for 2.5 hours, our lives are meaninful once more.

much like the quiz God gives you before you go to heaven...

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Special children create their own entertainment

when i was a child, i couldn't stay up too late.

around the time i was 5, i learned why.

growing up in the NYC area in the Bronx and then New Jersey with no cable, my family tuned in religiously to Channel 7, WABC New York. it was the channel that came in the clearest on our rabbit ear TV.

sometimes, i would stay up late.

then on rare occasions, i stayed up too late.

somewhere around midnight.

the late night movie would start. with its special theme

Channel 7 was my friend.

Bill Beutel would never be a part of something that would hurt me.

but somewhere around midnight

it would all go black

there came loud jeering trumpets

glistening with cheerful brutality and

cruel black and white elephants

marching very fast all over the place

motorcars gunshots

as i sit back screaming

with eyes wide open

there was nowhere to run or hide

the fact that this was happening

could never be stopped

and those elephants in

black and white grainy film from the 30s

were going to kill me

as their time period and disposition

gave them no choice to do otherwise

and the booming trumpets blared

and blasted in my ears

it was never going to end

until my heart stopped

but even after that

the screams would not and

as cascading animated shockwaves

bludgeoned me

warned me of a world

much more cruel than

i had imagined

black and white elephants

the Bronx is no more

America is waiting

speed of death

i was encased in a tomb

with the inscription:



and the brutal pomp would fade

and i shudder in a corner

with eyes and mouth wide open

and the TV is clicked off

(my parents or other caretakers never seemed to be around at the right moment).


since then, i could have found the source of this terror.

but i didnt. i talked about it. but i didnt.

finally Ria found a WABC late night movie theme.

but it was the much tamer late night theme that they currently use.

no no.

thanks to some search engine, i found it. the key to the worst pure terror in my life.

Here is an audio of the horror. (off the '80s TV Theme Super Site, local page).

Here is a video of the intro, in this clip introducing the 4:30 Movie. (off of TV Ark ).

if you check the psychedelicness, you can begin to see what i'm talking about.

um, perhaps a little baffled about grainy black and white elephants perhaps...

where is Bill Beutel to save me?


Good luck, and be well.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Pub Quiz update #1

I've been meaning to update about my pub quiz team.

For years i've been coming up with band names but have regretfully no music skill or band. So at least i've been able to contribute to having a good name for our team.

We play at Flann O'Brien's in Brigham Circle on Tuesday nights because its convenient and we do much better there than at Charlie's Kitchen in Harvard Square. Damn Harvard kids. Teams compete with a max of 6 people, which we all try to have. Our team competes mainly to counter teams of our Simmons grad school library science friends (such as Elliott's sister Sarah and Jon's girlfriend Chrissy) and our fellow NU grad engineer friends (Barry, Andy).

We typically pick a name through a painfully democratic process taking a half hour. Its painful because i do not always win the competition. If we win or place 2nd or 3rd (which we do, more often than not), we usually keep the name. I like to go with names that confuse and horrify in an abstract or brutalist way.

The librarians usually go with "Teenage Fathers Against Nicotine (TFAN)". which i hate. The Engineers are usually "Team X" which they've dropped to go with a movie band name. Such as their first pick "Wyld Stallions" from Bill and Ted.

We started off as Soylent Green Cattleprod. Which I did not pick. It was Barry's choice during a formative period. We did well with good placements.

When we lost, me and Jon played off a Simpsons reference. Our name was "The Cure Is Killing Me and the Toaster's Been Laughing At Me". a play off of Homer's famous "The Doll's trying to kill me and the toaster's been laughin at me!" during the evil Krusty doll Halloween episode as well as a comment during a previous game when the Cure was playing during a question and Scott said "The Cure is killing me".

After losing that one after a good streak, my memory loses me. There was one regrettable time when i wasn't there for the naming and we were "A Dingleberry Ate My Baby". pathetic 1st grade poop joke name.

One after that was a particularly awful name that i enjoyed (and chose): "Its A Family of Hair". named after listening to "Its a Family Affair" and remembering hometown hair salons named "Hair It Is" and "Hair We Are".

An excellent one (that i picked) recently was "Dick Cheney Shot a 78 Year Old Man (in the face)". we got 2nd that time. wonderful, got some laughs plus a dynamite "And in 2nd place..."

After that I was in London visiting the lovely Carolyn.

That week the team became "Throw Up In My Mouth". another horrid name picked by some girl i dont know.

Upon my return I lobbied to have it changed. Democracy changed it to "Dick Cheney in My Mouth". a rather sad compromise which still got a few chuckles.

This week: Dick Cheney In My Mouth - 84 points, 4th place. players: Me, Jon, Cassie, Mike, Scott, Keith.

finishing 4th behind Wyld Stallions (NU Engineers) in 1st, Teenage Fathers Against Nicotine (Simmons Library Science) in 2nd.

We'll be in touch, so you be in touch.